France

Probably the best all round skiing country in the world.....

Thats a bit of a claim, but using our criteria, it's very difficult to beat France for its combination of skiing convenience, variety of runs, accessibility, food, wine and value.

The downside is that in terms of  apres ski, the French are a little too serious about themselves to know how to have any proper fun. This is particularly true in the 'top' resorts, which often claim to have fantastic night life, yet this often amounts to yet another techno night club full of young french students who are up themselves.

Mind you, compared with some Swiss resorts......

Austria

In some ways everything which is good about France is the opposite in Austria. Generally, Austrian resorts are extremely inconvenient. Usually built around traditional towns in their own right, the skiing takes place often many miles away, resulting in bus trips and long gondola rides before you even see any snow. This can eat up much precious time from your day, especially when you dont get out of bed until 11-00am..... .

Conversely, Austrian nightlife can be great fun and no-one seems to do the apres ski, straight from the slopes, any better.

Be aware though that the Austrian's reputation as hoteliers only seems to apply to four star accommodation or higher. Stay in a three star or below and you are likely to be subjected to a regime reminiscent of a concentration camp, with inflexible meal arrangements, mediocre food and surly staff.

Italy

Probably fair to say that the Italians have the friendliest people of all the European countries you are likely to stay in. The skiing can be reminiscent of Austria in terms of inconvenience and lack of snow, but this is somehow compensated for by the charm of the Italians.

Night life can also be to Austrian standards, but the real problem in recent years has been poor snowfall.

Turin airport deserves a mention as being probably the most inneficient and badly organised you will encounter this side of the third world. All the advantages of short transfer times are obliterated by the need to queue for everything, the security bordering on the fanatical and therefore resulting in you spending 2 hours in a line, just to get your bits X- rayed. 

Switzerland

We used to think the Swiss were a bit boring. And they certainly can be, but it's not as universal as we once suspected.

Andorra

Aside from the silly transfer times, this little country has much to recommend it, even though it hasn't received the full-on W.A.N.K.E.R.S. treatment yet. Good value (though getting dearer), fun, more skiing than you think and generally extremely convenient (especially Soldeu) and the atmosphere is Spanish, which makes a nice change.

I'll complete these when I get time.....we've been to so many places....

FRANCE

Courchevel 1850

We love the Three Valleys and C1850 is a great place to have lunch, sitting at the bottom of the slopes, taking in some rays and watching all the beautiful people (ie real wankers) parading.

Some of the runs in the area above 1850 are pure joy, but avoid the mountain restaurants like the plague, unless you: i. Order mountains of food which you pick at and leave. ii Like waiting for ages to be served if you don't look a million dollars. ii Have more money than God.

Staying in C1850 is great for convenience as most places in the village allow you easy access to slopes and lifts. The downside is that far too many of those staying there are 'up themselves', so the nightlife is not as free flowing as it should be.

For this reason C1850 will never achieve maximum WANK status

WANK rating = 7.5 WANKS

Meribel

Probably one our favourite places. More centrally located in the 3 Valleys than Courchevel and much less pretentious, though it can have its moments, especially Dicks T Bar, although even that place is nowhere near as happening as it's made out to be. It's also quite a walk out of the main part of the village.

You have to be careful where you stay (as in all resorts I guess) because you can easily find yourself staying in one of the satellites making you feel rather cut off.

Generally though, if you find a well positioned chalet, Meribel is hard to beat. Major downside can be lift queues out of the resort itself, but once out of the main area, there is so much choice of skiing, it's bewildering.

WANK rating = 8 WANKS

La Tania

A cute little place, well positioned in the middle of the 3V. Mainly chalet style accommodation. Again, you have to be careful where you stay as some of the chalets can be a fair old walk out of the village, though you can ski down to the lifts in the morning if you are ingenious.

With a relatively small heart to it, the night life is a little limited, but the guy who runs 'Le Ski Lodge' is a right character, though his presence is more obvious at lunchtime when he uses a massive horn(!) to attract customers. Sitting outside, enjoying some decent food and atmosphere is one of life's great pleasures.

Val D'Isere

Tignes

Perhaps the best skiing anywhere if that is what is most important to you. Never ending variety and challenge, with the black Sache down to Les Brevieres being one of our most favourite runs anywhere.

Les Deux Alpes

Portes Du Soleil

Chamonix

Megeve

Val Cenis

La Clusaz

AUSTRIA

St Anton

Ischgl

Soll

Obertauern

Fugen

Big recommendation for the Hotel Elisabeth-Fuegen.at

Zell Am Zee/Kaprun

Saalbach-Hinterglemm

ITALY

Pila/Aosta

Sauze D'Oulx

Courmayeur

Champouluc

SWITZERLAND

Crans Montanna

Too much sun melts the snow, terribly inconvenient, boring Swiss, too many fur coats and handbag dogs.

No thanks
RATING = 4 WANKS

Champoussin

Verbier

I hate to say it and I will probably be struck off the committee of the Ski Club of Great BurgerKing, but I think Verbier is over-rated. Good god, someone has dared to dis the hallowed VB. My feeling is those who rave about VB do so on the basis of the 'Emperor's New Clothes' syndrome, where everyone is too scared to say what they really think about the place. My gripes are:
Inconvenience - miles to walk to the lifts from most of the accommodation
Awful infrastructure - ancient lifts and terrible queues
Lots of pole-ing - bad news if you are on a board or blades.
Linear ski area - what a joke about 400+ kms of piste. It's almost impossible to get out of the first valley in a day, let alone get to the 4th. You can do more skiing in a day in Soldeu....
Too many twats - Lots of hooray types admiring the Emperor's new clothes.

To be fair, the off piste is pretty awesome, the Mardi Gras was a great laugh (especially for Switzerland) and some of the ordinary people, (especially the bar and restaurant staff) are lovely.

But I won't be rushing back

RATING = 6 WANKS

Zermatt

No official trip here yet by the W.A.N.K.E.R.S. but our splinter group excursion (March 2007) reveals lots of potential. Great atmosphere, great skiing, amazing scenery, lovely food, relaxing train journey from Geneva airport and not as expensive as you might think. Downside is skiing convenience (lack of), but those little electric taxis can take cae of that for a few quid a day. More later.

ANDORRA

Soldeu

To follow.... 

And these....

Hotels

Chalets