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Things W.A.N.K.E.R.S. say....
About to blow = this is where a young lady with a hitherto slim figure begins the (almost) inevitable passage towards weight gain. She still can't be classed as fat but all the signs are there that within a few months (or even weeks in worst cases), she will be on the road to ruin.
Blown = too late
Poo-gina = a lady's back passage
Bonus Tunnel = as above
Legs like snapped candles = how we usually walk home after a night out on the razz
"Silly not to" - Because it would be.....
Cor, my ears (are cold), as in Cormayeur...
Clearing the custard = having a Nat West (see rhyming slang).....or sometimes sex with a lady could apply, but that doesn't happen except in our dreams....
Getting rid of the hump on your back = see above
Duck do - ask me about this....
"Pull my finger" = Usually done in a very public place such as a lift where there are total strangers, who may or may not appreciate the sound which follows this action and emanates from one's dung funnel.
Beer Scooter - what we mysteriously get home on every night
Slammer time = Occurs every evening just prior to dinner
"Ho Zaaa" = What we shout after each slammer (or sometimes we also shout WANKERS!)
Who the fuck is Alice? = As in livin next door to...
Bad boy, naughty boy, in your bed - when a W.A.N.K.E.R. has inextricably disgraced himself
Up the Clump = almost everything can be found 'up the clump' but in skiing terms regard the clump as the mountain.
It's a buffet, we can do what we want = see 'Tales of the W.A.N.K.E.R.S.' Feb 2005.
Cafetiere - the action of pressing down on a young lady's head, whilst in a certain position, as per pressing down on the Cafetiere handle
Wounded soldier - the walk you take to the loo, clutching something sticky against your belly, (with your trousers half down) having had a 'Nat West' in front of the telly without a tissue to hand. As per sopldiers in the 1st World War with their guts hagning out
More to follow....
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